I'm Not Alone - The Journey of Solo Shows

By Althea Gibson

In the summer of 1996 I started seeing Widespread Panic through the encouragement of a friend. Ryder had impeccable taste in music and I figured why not give this rock band a whirl? If he dug the band, perhaps I would too. Music was always something we shared throughout our friendship, which eventually developed into a love-ship for each other. During our time together, we saw countless Panic shows and traveled the country, following our hearts (and the band) to places we only dreamed of prior. If there's one thing that's for sure, following Panic is your ultimate tour guide for discovering the nooks and crannies of the world. 

Over the years, my relationship with Ryder drifted in a direction that not even a life vest could salvage. The love-ship sank, or better yet blew-up in flames beyond compare. I recall us fighting over the CD collection that we amassed and him holding my Taj Mahal discography hostage as a negotiation point. "Ain't No Use" comes to mind during this time, when in reality we were "Better Off".  While my love for Ryder ended, my passion for music remained. Thank god it did. 

Aside from the relationship, it was evident I needed a change…a drastic one. I made the severe decision to leave a steady job, sold my home and said good-bye to my friends and family over the course of 6 weeks. All but two of my friends thought I was losing my mind as I packed up my life into just one suitcase. My grandmother was the only family member who supported my drastic decision, telling me to “be your authentic self and live as you choose”.  The radio was my companion as I moved out of state for a fresh slate of life. I recall the 1,200 mile journey to my new home, blasting “Rock” on the radio. It was my anthem during unpredictable times.  

One of the most important life lessons revealed itself during this time — that sometimes in life you have to give-up everything, so you can have everything. The beauty and opportunities that unfolded in my new world were beyond my wildest dreams. Had I not left everything behind from my past, I would have never experienced all the joy that was waiting to unfold. I felt like “Conrad”, finally ready to fly. There was one thing missing though... seeing my favorite band, Widespread Panic. One evening I decided to see where the boys were playing and turns out there was a show within 5 hours of on my new home. I took out my trusty map and with a hint of fall in the air, I put my boots on and packed my bags. I was ready to ride, solo. 

Most would find it crazy for a woman to drive 5 hours alone for one concert. I thought nothing of it.  In my new state of independence, I enjoyed the dashboard time I had to mull about life as I drove past little towns and truck stops. It felt good to be free, somehow. 

When I arrived into town, the place was buzzed with a feeling of excitement. I enjoyed going to the local bar, people watching and chatting with other fans on what songs maybe played that night. It was a good feeling to enter the venue, carefree. Just as I found my seat, the lights went down and the band took the stage. With the opening note of Pigeons, I knew I was home again. While I didn’t know a soul in the crowd, I was reminded that we never dance alone.

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Energetic Experience painting by Lisette Morales

Years later, I still attend Panic shows mainly by myself. For me, missing a show is far worse than attending one solo. While it’s wonderful to have someone with you, you should never miss out on life just because someone isn’t there to enjoy it with you.  I’ve met so many incredible people as a result of going outside of my comfort zone and taking the path unknown. I am thankful for the many faces and places as a result of my journey seeing Widespread Panic.

So if you see me dancing by myself at a show, don’t get it twisted. I am my team.